This compact plaque lets the aliens know that you have formally surrendered. There is no need for them to probe your bum or peel your eyeballs because you've given up, you've laid down your arms and are cheerfully awaiting their benevolent rule with peaceful enthusiasm.
This helpful sign confirms the magnificent superiority of the new extraterrestrial leaders and expresses immediate surrender faster than the French in a world war. In space terms it reads “Welcome home my massive headed green friends. Welcome to earth, take anything you want as long as it's not my arsehole.”
* Each item is individually handcrafted and slight variations in colour reflect the unique nature of the process.
Stoneware 1220 degrees Celsius. Hand wash. Made from New Zealand. Stamped STEER like the brand on a colt's arse. Do not lick.
Approximate Measurements:
Length-18cm, Width-9cm, Depth- 2cm