They say it’s a long way to the shop if you want a sausage roll but for some people it’s a journey worth taking. I went to a dress up party where the theme was ‘P’ once. One douche bag came as a ‘person’ which really annoyed me because I’d spent a lot of time on my own costume. I went as a P head. It was a really hard transformation. I had to spend all the family’s food money on methamphetamine until my teeth started falling out. I wanted to be authentic so at the party I stole the X Box and jumped through the ranch slider window which was double glazed and knocked me out. I awoke in custody and tried to explain that my life was a carefully constructed costume and that the real me was innocent. Then they searched my bottom.
Woodfired Stoneware 1300 degrees Celsius. May spark and explode in a microwave because it's full of iron bearing rocks. May bully other crockery if left unsupervised in a cupboard environment. May spit, leak or generally be obnoxious. Handwash with the tears of mermaids. Made from New Zealand. Stamped STEER like the brand on a colt's arse.