For centuries people have been claiming to have seen huge hairy ape-like figures in the forests. Some call them Sascwatch, some... Yeti and others still: the Abominable Snowmen. The truth is as hard to stomach as the addition of spinach to a smoothie. They say that the Ultimate Vegan was once human but through an excessive diet of wheatgrass, cross fit and ice baths devolved into something else, something smeller. Some say that this is what happens when women stop shaving but I don’t believe them. As our population grows we encroach more and more into the territory of these secretive, stinky beasts. I saw one the other day at Wholefoods buying almond yogurt. That's yogurt made from nuts. Their future is dire.
Woodfired Stoneware 1300 degrees Celsius. May spark and explode in a microwave because it's full of iron bearing rocks. May bully other crockery if left unsupervised in a cupboard environment. May spit, leak or generally be obnoxious. Handwash with the tears of mermaids. Made from New Zealand. Stamped STEER like the brand on a colt's arse.