Aliens gave the Vikings magical talisman and that's why they never got seasick. Imagine how horrifically shit those ocean journeys must have been. Imagine the sunburn, the chapped lips and hemorrhoids from sitting on hard damp surfaces. Imagine the poor internet connection and unpaid overtime. You can understand why everybody was so angry when they got off their boats in a new country. Fortunately each boat was fitted with a Norse Wellness Alien which was usually attached to the mast. A proven cure for nausea, hangovers and sunstroke these talismen also offered protection against sexually transmitted diseases, diarrhea and all the other little nasties that can plague a boat load of filthy pagans. Now available as an ‘off the shelf’ cure the Norse Wellness Alien is the perfect pick me up for any hard living heathen. Simply nail one to your long boat and watch your pants lice scurry away, dragging last night's sins with them. Valhalla or bust!
Stoneware 1220 degrees Celsius. Hand wash. Made from New Zealand. Stamped STEER like the brand on a colt's arse. Do not lick.
Approximate Measurements:
Length-20.5cm, Width-9cm, Depth- 2cm