These pots contain important coded information in the form of Uranus Artificial Intelligence. Each handcrafted item contains a unique variation of a contemporary hieroglyphic message that relays important information to the aliens who are watching us with increasing bewilderment. The prize for decoding these messages is eternal life or near offer. Our descendants will find shards of these pots in a thousand years time and marvel at our ignorance and stupidity. Until then we can use them to eat and drink from and to generate silly conversations for shits and giggles. They are also a bastard to clean, especially if you like runny eggs. Like a weasel.
Please note that each item is hand crafted and should vary slightly in shape and shade of color. The whiter glaze is made from elephant ivory and the colour depends on how old and dirty the animal was when it was shot. Equally, the black glaze is made predominantly from cremated Christmas kittens and the tone can shift slightly depending on the furs density at the time of incineration.
Warning: complaining to the potter about blemishes, wobbles and inconsistent colouring will result in merciless trolling and possibly direct verbal abuse. By choosing to purchase this product you acknowledge that Laurie Steer is The Best Potter in the World and that anything he makes is exceptional and exists beyond all criticism.
Stoneware 1300 degrees Celsius. May spark and explode in a microwave because it's full of iron bearing rocks. May bully other crockery if left unsupervised in a cupboard environment. Possibly Incontinent. Hand wash. Made from New Zealand. Stamped STEER like the brand on a colt's arse. Price is per pot.