Thank You for Fucking Off: An informal guide to handling criticism
Dear Laurie,
How do you deal with criticism?
Asking for a friend,
Robin
Dear Robin,
I suspect that you are referring predominantly to negative criticism as, let's be honest, dealing with positive criticism isn't really a chore.
I make a range of work including domestic pots and ceramic sculpture. Both seem to get an equal amount of shit from the haters. Frankly, most of the disparaging comments about my domestic ware is fairly tame i.e. ‘It's too heavy, it's too light, it's too wobbly, it's too tight’, etc. Feedback on my more philosophical pots however, can get much more juicy. In 2006 a super fan left a voice message with my then gallerist threatening to come to the opening and stab me! But they never showed up because, unlike me, they lacked the courage of their conviction. And like most critics, they were all hot air. I was actually a little disappointed. A death threat may be the ultimate compliment. Now, I’m obviously not seeking an early death at the hands of a knife-yielding lunatic, but I do prefer a love/hate response from an audience rather than indifference. Indifference is death. Indifference means that you don’t exist and that your work is invisible. A reaction, even negative, is evidence of your work's power and existence (or that it is really, really shit).
But what is criticism? Criticism is just one person's judgment of your work, so who that person is really matters. It's very important to qualify your critics before you react, because feedback from random muppets is hard to value, but a qualified voice might be useful. For this reason I take the opinion of my close friends and colleagues very seriously. The trick with bad criticism is not to immediately accept it as the truth. If you can qualify the critic you should consider the argument, but never surrender your integrity to the applause of a fool. Criticism is also a type of censorship through bullying, it hopes to coerce change through discomfort. One of the misconceptions about the bully/bullied dynamic is the assumption that you'll just stand there and take it. Most bullies don’t expect you to fight back. My all-time best strategy is to gently take the critic’s hand, look them tenderly in the eyes and earnestly say, with deep sincerity, “thankyou for fucking off”. Then spin around and walk off. If they try to re-engage (which they will) just ignore them or act like they’re crazy. Another excellent option is to accidentally splash your drink on their crotch. That way everyone else will assume they've peed their pants.
I’ve always found unsolicited criticism a bit like being spat on by a stranger. However, after the initial distaste, contrary opinions can be quite helpful by forcing us to think deeply about alternative perspectives and defend our own techniques and ideas. The best way to manage the emotional toll of external critique is to be confident in your own efforts. If you’re happy with your pots don’t concede to the naysayers. Be brave, stand by your work. Never cede your creative sovereignty to a cunt.
XL
Image: Rob Cherry, Post Card Series from Ambivalence at the Bottom of the Cliff. 2026, Cass St. Gallery Russell, NZ