Perfection Is Death: The Fizz in the Dribble
Dear Laurie,
Should a teapot pour perfectly, or is a small amount of dribbling part of the romance?
Warm regards,
Elaine
Dear Elaine,
Perfection is an unobtainable fiction that arises, like a mirage, from the wasteland of false ambition. To fail to achieve it, is to aspire to make it. Ergo perfection is death.
As makers we can only get so close to perfection, let's say 95% of the way. The final 5% is fizz. The fizz is that extra bit of intangible awesomeness that is evident but unexplainable. The fizz is the undefinable element that exists within all masterworks. The imperceptible fairy dust that alludes to a creator existing within creation. More something than someone. The soul of the object. The fizz might be the final bastion in the fight against the moon tides of industrialisation and artificial intelligence. So it is perhaps appropriate that we can not explain it without sounding like an elf, for saying what it is might kill it.
Perfectionism is like gonorrhea, something you catch from an academic who claims to be a virgin. Perfection is a self-fulfilling prophecy. But the maker is not the prophet. An aspiration towards perfection will prevent you from ever doing anything interesting because you are starting with an outcome. Good pottery is not a math problem to be solved. There is no solution. No good, no bad, no right or wrong. Perfection is a rainbow in the distance. You’ll know it when you see it.
And with regards to drips and ‘dribbling’ we must first absolve the teapot. The teapot never makes itself, so we must look to the potter. Is the potter a human or a machine? Who do we want to make our teapots? I want a human and therefore I accept some humanity in the pour. Most metal, glass and plastic teapots don’t drip. That is because they are soulless shit buckets. We could get intravenous tea but who wants it? I want an experience and a relationship, not a douche for my mouth. In five years time when a robot is serving you the perfect pour from its self-leveling titanium cock we’re going to look back at this moment and wish we still had tea on our fingers.
So let the teapots drool Elaine! Let them pour forth their enthusiasm, eccentricities and good humour. A spout is not a wet dick in white jeans. Relax and enjoy! A drippy teapot is a fabulous talking point, like dinner and a show or a splash of comedy between biscuits. Lean into it. Maybe a small amount of dribbling isn't enough, maybe we should champion the gusher! In Chinese tea culture they try to get everything as wet as possible. The whole event is hosted on an elevated drip tray to allow for copious spillage, a sure sign of a successful brew. Oh let these perfect dribbles rain!
Fuck function as a whip. I don’t want perfection in a pour, I want humanity. I want to feel the maker's journey and let it continue through my use. I want to be part of the story, not the umpire at the end, blowing my whistle and calling foul. I don’t bemoan a clean pour either, but if there's a bit of tea on the table all the better. Let’s celebrate handmade teapots everywhere. Thank you friends, for saving us from the machinations of industry, for farting at the coronation, for the fizz in the dribble and for showing us how to loosen up and be free.
XL
*Image: George Edgar Ohr (July 12, 1857 – April 7, 1918)